{"id":371,"date":"2009-09-19T12:28:29","date_gmt":"2009-09-19T20:28:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mikevarley.com\/?p=371"},"modified":"2009-09-19T12:28:29","modified_gmt":"2009-09-19T20:28:29","slug":"the-mike-varley-plain-dealer-the-seasick-mama-saga","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mikevarley.com\/?p=371","title":{"rendered":"The Mike Varley Plain Dealer: The Seasick Mama Saga"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hi all,<\/p>\n<p>So the last email I told you to look forward to September 19th for an awesome story.\u00a0 <strong>I present to you <a href=\"http:\/\/www.weknowyouknowiknow.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">&#8220;We Know You Know I Know: The Seasick Mama Saga.&#8221;<\/a> <\/strong><br \/>\n<!--more--><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.weknowyouknowiknow.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">www.weknowyouknowiknow.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>This is a story eight months and countless emails in the making.\u00a0 It details my travails with a Williamsburg clothing designer named <a href=\"http:\/\/www.seasickmama.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Seasick Mama<\/a>, who I actually sent an email to you all about back in March.\u00a0 She was the one who put my artwork up on her blog and I asked you to vote for me.\u00a0 Well that didn&#8217;t work out, but months later she held a contest that I entered and &#8220;won&#8221;.\u00a0 Things started out fine until she started using my contest submission all over town for things I didn&#8217;t agree to and without a scrap of credit attached.\u00a0 What ensued was the epic story you can now find at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.weknowyouknowiknow.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">www.weknowyouknowiknow.com<\/a>, in both text version and audio version.\u00a0 The following is the introduction:<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-family: verdana,sans-serif;\" align=\"center\">The story you&#8217;re about to read is no less than the most epic example of hipster ownage ever catalogued on the internet. Were there a Richter scale of hipster ownage, this story would rank somewhere between &#8220;the systematic shut down of every Salvation Army in the nation&#8221; and &#8220;having daddy&#8217;s credit card taken away.&#8221; This story is like a hand-calligraphied note signed by both TV on the Radio and Animal Collective telling you how fat you look in that American Apparel unitard. It&#8217;s just that good.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-family: verdana,sans-serif;\" align=\"center\">And subplots? Holy Crap, I felt like I was ironically watching Melrose Place! Which drink will he choose in the suspenseful bar scene &#8211; PBR or PBR and a shot? Will the gang think my undercut looks cool? Will I finish my quirky banner in time for the day of the big fashion show? I envy you people for not yet knowing these answers.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-family: verdana,sans-serif;\" align=\"center\">Now that I&#8217;ve got the attention of your sick, train-wreck-loving, ADD-addled minds, let me tell you what else this story is about: it&#8217;s about balance and limitations. The balance we crave when we feel we&#8217;ve been wronged and the human limitations of emotional response.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-family: verdana,sans-serif;\" align=\"center\">This story is broken into two parts. In part one, I&#8217;m thrown in the mud and come out looking transfigured. In part two I pursue righteous justice, with spectacular results and myriad regrets. I encourage you to listen to the audio version, as all my stories are written with a listening ear in mind. Please turn off all cell phones and keep your hands inside the trolley. You&#8217;re about to embark on one bizarre ride.<\/p>\n<p>The story is just thee first step in repurposing &#8220;We Know You Know I Know.&#8221;\u00a0 I also intend to make some sweet shirts of my own; I&#8217;ll send you all a message when they&#8217;re ready.<\/p>\n<p>So grab some popcorn and turn on your speakers.\u00a0 I guarantee you won&#8217;t be disappointed.<\/p>\n<p>Regards,<br \/>\nVarley<\/p>\n\t\t<div style=\"float:right;margin:10px 10px 0px 0px;\">\r\n\t\t\t<a class=\"DiggThisButton DiggCompact\" href=\"http:\/\/digg.com\/submit?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmikevarley.com%2F%3Fp%3D371&title=The+Mike+Varley+Plain+Dealer%3A+The+Seasick+Mama+Saga\" ><span style=\"display:none\">Hi all, So the last email I told you to look forward to September 19th for an awesome story.\u00a0 I present to you &#8220;We Know You Know I Know: The Seasick Mama Saga.&#8221;<\/span><\/a>\t\t\r\n\t\t<\/div>\t\t\r\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hi all, So the last email I told you to look forward to September 19th for an awesome story.\u00a0 I present to you &#8220;We Know You Know I Know: The Seasick Mama Saga.&#8221; Hi all, So the last email I told you to look forward to September 19th for an awesome story.\u00a0 I present to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n\t\t<div style=\"float:right;margin:10px 10px 0px 0px;\">\r\n\t\t\t<a class=\"DiggThisButton DiggCompact\" href=\"http:\/\/digg.com\/submit?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmikevarley.com%2F%3Fp%3D371&title=The+Mike+Varley+Plain+Dealer%3A+The+Seasick+Mama+Saga\" ><span style=\"display:none\">Hi all, So the last email I told you to look forward to September 19th for an awesome story.\u00a0 I present to you &#8220;We Know You Know I Know: The Seasick Mama Saga.&#8221;<\/span><\/a>\t\t\r\n\t\t<\/div>\t\t\r\n\t\t","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[46],"tags":[170,59],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikevarley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/371"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikevarley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikevarley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikevarley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikevarley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=371"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mikevarley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/371\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":372,"href":"https:\/\/mikevarley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/371\/revisions\/372"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikevarley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=371"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikevarley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=371"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikevarley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=371"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}